It’s been three years since that morning… it felt like the world was spinning around me and I was standing still. I wasn’t holding my breath but I wasn’t breathing either. The thought of what God might be asking of me was heavier than I could hold. I think you have the wrong girl, God.
I sent my sister a text, first thing that morning. By first thing I mean…. probably around 8:30 because I didn’t have kids and first thing looked different than it does now 😉
I need you to pray. If you sense anything from the Lord, send it my way.
She didn’t ask questions, she didn’t even hesitate. I tried to start my day, going through the motions, sitting down at my desk and staring blankly at my screen. She messaged me back…
I immediately heard, “I, the Lord have called you in righteousness and will go with you and will hold your hand.” (referencing verses in Isaiah 41:10 and 13) …. I had a sense of moving forward with something and God saying He will be with you – every step of the way.
I have found it’s important to surround yourself with people that hear God. It’s also important to be someone who seeks God for yourself and others.
Just the day before I had a friend on the other side of the world send me a message. She had a dream. This is rather out of the blue… not a whole lot of detail really except that it was very clear you would soon be getting twins. Baby twins. And these were for you to keep. Forever.
I was undone. Scared to death. Hoping God wasn’t serious.
I don’t remember breathing for the next 10 days. Every day as I prayed he seemed to be more clearly confirming that this was coming. Church services, songs, scriptures, everything seemed to be pointing to the dream.
Stand in the place God has given you, make the shift, prepare yourself for what He’s going to do.
I had to make a shift from questioning if this was God, to saying, Ok God what do I do from here?
I began to prepare as best as I could for something I couldn’t comprehend. I will never forget my dad lying back on the couch…speechless at first… then trying to help me navigate preparing for this kind of unknown. Ok, let’s buy two cribs. We have to start somewhere. It was kind-of like me putting out a fleece… baby steps.
Why do I share all this now? What’s so special about today?
I woke up this morning reminded of the beginning of this story… the dream…the words, the confirmation… the shift that changed my life forever. I sent Daniel a text, It’s been three years… can you believe it? Some days we still can’t believe it. We are literally living a dream come true.
“My life is not a story about me. And your life’s not a story about you. My life is a story about who God is and what he does in a human heart.” – Shauna Niequist
I can’t help but tell my story. Some of you are facing the hardest thing you’ve ever faced – God may be calling you to take a leap of faith that doesn’t seem fitting. Let me tell you, if it seemed fitting it wouldn’t require faith. One thing I’ve learned over the highs and lows of the past three years is that our story is God’s opportunity to shine. In the broken places, the crushing days, the breathtaking moments and everything in between – his goodness shines through.
This is my story, this is my song… praising my savior all the day long…
It took two hard years for that dream to be fully fulfilled, to see forever. It took me at least six months after the girls moved in to accept that God really meant adoption. Dear Jesus, I still think you have the wrong girl… but ok… we’re still alive… so thanks for that!
But on the days that I wondered if God was really in this, I chose to cling to the words he gave those first 10 days… the dream, the scripture, the teachings and the pictures… in his gentle kindness he made me brave.
Friend, whatever you are facing – the mountains or the waves – it is worth embracing. I promise you I was so afraid this day three years ago, but I could never have imagined, dreamed or considered how beautiful obedience would be. I couldn’t see three years down the road that I’d have twins losing their first teeth, a baby girl starting her preschool, kindergarten with the bestest buddies and God’s incredible faithfulness every step of the way.
It is absolutely worth it.
As the story goes, 13 days after the dream I received a call I will never forget. Abby, this is Jennifer…. I don’t know if you’re willing to consider this… but we have twin 2 yr old girls that need to be placed immediately…
[Take a deep breath. Pray. Walk into the waves.] “I need two hours. Give me two hours to go buy car-seats and a few things.”
“Ok, great! Once you all get settled, we’ll talk about their 8 month old baby sister.”
Well. I didn’t see that one coming.
Grace upon Grace.