“yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so”
I hear the sweetest little voice singing these words from under the table. This is my favorite. My heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice singing the words I long for her to know in the depths of her being… Yes, Jesus loves you!
Adoption is in the air… the anticipation is almost more than I can bear. Every little thing tugs at my heart-strings. It’s not just our story, but yours as well. The very day we found out that we were cleared for adoption, 4 houses down from us a tiny baby girl was born into her adopted family that had waited and prayed for this child. I met this tiny one last night and the peace that envelopes her is surreal… I can’t help but wonder, “will you ever understand how heaven moved to get you here?”
One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is found in Matthew 7:11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
I have often said, my dad makes God look good. When I have thought of this scripture I have known that there is nothing on earth my dad would not do for me… how much more so my heavenly father?
There have been many times in the past 21 months that I have looked at my circumstances and talked back to God saying, “my dad would have done something by now!” I’m sure there were some feet stomping and tear shedding to go along with my tantrum.
I may not fully see in this lifetime how heaven has moved on my behalf… but I know it has.
When I look back on our story, the past 21 months, and all that God has done to bring to fruition the dream he placed in our heart I want my girls to know one thing, He is a good good father.
It’s hard some days for me to wrap my head around adoption. For adoption to be necessary something has broken, a plan or a dream, something is not what it should be… but in God’s grace, he provides a path of redemption, a saving of the story.
Here we are, literally counting down the days until adoption, practicing new names and beaming with excitement like expectant parents. I have prayed that God would guard this season, for the first time we get to truly be excited and let the anticipation build up for this one big day… almost like a wedding!
We’re riding down the road in the car, “Raise your hand if you wanna be adopted!” or shouting out new names like we know who we’re talking to. Y’all, it’s just too much!
We had never discussed adoption before last week… honestly… the girls haven’t even known that they needed to be adopted, life has just been life for them. So we took them out to dinner and it went something like this:
“Girls, mommy and daddy want to talk to you about something.” – me
“What!?!?!?” – all the little girlie voices
“Well, want to know if it would be okay if we adopted all of you so we can be your mommy and daddy forever?!” – obviously me
a twin’s head hangs down and she softly says, “but I wanted a new mommy and daddy…”
………………. [I am sitting there stunned….]
“I’m just kidding! I want you to be my mommy and daddy forever and ever and ever!” – said twin
What the hell was that!?!?! Seriously! That is some high level sarcasm there. Not what you would expect from a four-year-old! I almost told her I changed my mind! But honestly, I can’t blame her… Daniel and I are two of the most sarcastic people you will ever meet. I can’t say I deserved that… but I can certainly see where I contributed to it. 😉
I told my dad the other day I’m a little worried that once we finalize adoption I’m not going to have anything to write about…. after spending a couple of days around us he assured me there will still be things to write! Maybe, just maybe, you’ll get to see our fun side again.
Until then… I will be reading everything I can about What to Expect When You’re Expecting – 3 Toddlers… oh wait, no one in their right mind would put something like that in print. I’ll keep on potty-training, planning a celebration and seeking to capture this story that God has given us. Thank you for being there through every step!
I mentioned last week that there were a bunch of legal hoops that needed to be jumped through, and I just have to say, our case-worker was on point… and God has moved in incredible ways. We have been approved and will be moving into our final stage of adoption, exactly ONE day before our home-study expires. Yeah, let that sink in.
God is kind-of a show-off.
This morning as I sat, somewhat anxiously, considering where we are and what still needs to happen I came across a new-to-me song that just met the state of my heart…
Oh, I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like
But I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you’re pleased
And that I’m never alone
You’re a Good, Good Father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am
– excerpt from Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin feat. Pat Barrett & Anthony Brown
My heart can’t stop singing this morning of His goodness.