Cheers to birthday week!

It’s my birthday week!   Normally, that’s not too big of a deal, but this year I’m turning 2 years older.  Yep, it’s true.  You see, we also celebrate our one-year mark with the twinsies this week.  The girls moved in with us just 4 days before my birthday last year.  Evidently, in the midst of all that entailed, I forgot I turned a year older.

Recently, when doing the math, we realized I’m a year older than I thought I was.  So just to catch up, this year I’ll be turning 2 years older.

Even though this year has passed by quickly, the days were long, the nights were longer and I am certain I’ve aged a few years through it.  My eyes have dark circles, my hair has more grey than ever before, things don’t fit like they use to fit… I’m a hot mess!

I’m a pretty reflective person.  This year has by far been the year of greatest growth in my own life.  As I was reflecting today and considering what we’ve walked through I am in awe of God’s faithfulness.  My eyes fill with tears when I hear this simple, yet powerful song…

Standing on this mountain-top, looking just how far we’ve come, knowing that for every step you were with us.
Kneeling on this battleground, seeing just how much you’ve done; knowing every victory is your power in us.

My year passes through my mind in sequence of victories, moments where I clearly saw God’s hand in each battle.  He has blown my mind in so many ways.  I remember one night, fighting fiercely for peace over one child who had cried for hours in terror.  When it all settled and she fell into deep rest, I knew we had broken through deep things.  I knew I had fought too hard to give up on these girls.

As I consider the stages of the past year it went something like this…

• The twins move in and I think, oh, they are so cute…. maybe we can keep them forever.
• One week later… oh, they don’t sleep?  Please take them back.
• Three weeks in, oh, wait… you need me to take a baby too.  Sure, why not?  That’s what Love Does… right?
• Six weeks in…Baby girl moves in.  What the hell just happened!    We’re all crying.  Nobody sleeps.  Surely God has the wrong girl.  It will be a miracle if we all make it out alive.
• Three months in… ok… it is possible that we could survive this.
• Six months in … what, you were serious about this adoption thing?  This can’t possibly be my life, forever.
• Seven months…okay, we’re in.
• Eight months… I said we’re in… what’s taking so long?
• Nine months… I said we’re in… you better not be tricking me.  I’ve fought too hard to lose now.
• Ten months…sleep.  We all sleep.  I’ve been awake for 9 months straight.  I can’t sleep enough.
• Eleven months… daddy left for 3 weeks… we’re all going to die
• Twelve months… one big happy family again… could somebody please make this official before I’m raising teenagers?

I’m not crazy.  I’m just honest.  Every step has been one of a larger journey of surrender.  Surrender to his ways.  Letting go of the path of least resistance and embarking on uncharted territory [for me].  I realize many of you have already raised three kids and lived to tell about it. I think of you with great admiration, daily.  And some of you are even brave enough to home-school! Your awesomeness is beyond my reach.

As I close up today’s reflection, I must acknowledge a few things I’m so thankful for.

• My Dyson vacuum cleaner, it is therapeutic for me. and it’s pink.
• My crock-pot, for by it we are fed.
• DVD player in the car. Peace on earth.
• Bubble Guppies – they are cute enough that even I enjoy watching them.
• Friends that give me hope, encourage me and let me know things will get easier
• Family that supports us through thick-and-thin
• Essential Oils… yep… I’m a believer.  We escaped the plague of “hand,foot and mouth” that took our daycare down. {rest in peace}
• My little house –  the place where I escape and do my work and pretend like I have a little bit of control in life
• The three little girls that have rocked my world
• The best husband a girl could ever ask for
• Each and every one of you!

So go, have a drink in my name.  It should probably be pink, fruity and not include tequila… (we can’t even talk about what happens with tequila).    and prepare yourself – I’m probably going to be blowing up your news feed with memories this week.  Let’s celebrate!