In April we said our first “yes” to the placement of an incredibly endearing 5 year old princess. When she unpacked her bag it overflowed with pink & purple. I knew that God meant for this to be. It seemed too good to be true! This chic was right up my alley.
As we settled in I began to see in bigger ways the pain of her life. Nothing could have prepared me for the depths of brokenness and pain she had endured. This precious girl pierced my heart. Read this Post for a glimpse into my discovery of a world that exists outside of my comfortable bubble. I vowed to protect her. I told her, you are safe now. I am learning that there are limits to the promises I can make. We work in a system that is broken and I have little to no control.
After 3 very challenging months we walked through what I consider to be the hardest thing Daniel and I have ever faced together. In this blog “You are My Sunshine” I share the depths of that pain and the faithfulness of God we experienced as we obediently released this princess into God’s plan for her life.
It took me weeks to recover. Initially, there was a sense of relief from the pain and pressure that had been building. But slowly, I tasted what it’s like to not know where your child is, not know what she’s doing, not know if she’s ok. My heart had been knit with hers. Then it was broken.
I still get to hear from her and check-in on how she is doing. My eyes still fill with tears when I come across her pictures in my phone. My mom asks me about her… all the time… her heart was broken too. You see, when we walk this path of love and you come along side of us… you open yourself up too. Friends, be warned, this can be painful. I am consistently reminded of my complete dependence upon the Lord. I have to know that his heart is good – not only towards me – but towards each child that we meet. And you, we invite you to love with us, trust with us and see God move.